***Flawless***

A couple things happen when you reach your late 20s. You get a little old and boring. You begin to see things more on a big picture scale. You begin to understand the value of Brunch and bottomless Mimosas . But one thing is for sure, you are bound to end up getting stuck in the middle of wedding season rut. Last year, I was invited to 5 weddings. I love LOVE, so of course I love weddings...But you get fever after going to these things. I have a theme for my pretend wedding...no boyfriend, nor partner or fiance but the guest list and wedding favors are picked out.

As much as I love weddings. I hate them as well. Its a reminder that I'm single, in my late 20s and if I don't meet someone soon... Ill be a spinster! I have a huge problem with this. Why do I feel like I NEED to be married. I can take care of myself, never needed a man or anyone for that matter. But from the time we are girls, we are told that the story is complete only when Mr. tall dark and handsome has "rescued" you. I'm hardly a damsel in distress and can rescue myself... in multiple languages. 

I'm getting really tired of this idea that I have to have a HUSBAND and a family to be successful. I think keeping Rupert alive is a success in itself, I can't even imagine adding little humans to the mix. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life but I have done a lot for being only 28. I need no man and I don't have time to coddle some insecure guy's ego. Sorry not sorry. One of the songs I have to listen to daily is Flawless by Beyonce. I love the song in general but I really listen to it for the expert from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I really need to listen to every speech she's ever given and read every book she's ever written- simply brilliant. 

She makes so many relevant points about how we have such a ridiculous double standard for girls. We grow up as young girls thinking we have to be the "princess" who has to be saved. But boys are never taught that they are the prince and knight in shining armor. Boys are never taught how to keep a woman but we are taught how to keep a man. Girls who show emotions are weak but girls who are guarded are hurt and tainted. The fairy tale is only complete once the prince finds you.  Really? Society standards are setting relationships up to fail. In my fairy tale, there isn't necessarily a prince. There is an equal. We always hear about finding someone to complete you but I don't need to be completed. Finding someone equally yolked is fine and ideal even but if you need someone to complete you- there are even bigger problems at hand than being 20 something and single. 

I might be a raging feminist and I'm OK with that. I just hate the pressure I feel to be with someone and have a family in order to be successful. Lets not even get started on how the expectation is for me to be with a black male- which probably wont happen- but that's a post for another day. 

Ill never understand why you would want to be with someone who fits nicely in the cookie cutter shape they are expected to be in. Ill never understand how some people are OK with being just another mold of a person. We have so much more freedom as woman- in this country especially- but we don't take advantage of it. We forget our power as woman. We forget our strength. 

I meet people and they are shocked at what I've done in such a short life, but they are even more appalled at the fact that I'm 28 and single. 

Do I want love and a partner? Absolutely to love, eventually to the partner. Love still doesn't equal success or change who I am as a person. So shouldn't I be more focused on being the best me possible...for me?