Merry Christmas! Nothing like an early morning rant to put me in the Christmas spirit. During my usual insomniac moment around 2 am, I checked my phone to see I had at some point received this lovely picture message from one of my favorite women. My immediate 2 am response was " Nope, I'm not sitting and waiting for no man but Jesus". Well, IT IS Christmas. But underneath the sassy undertones of that message was sadness. I hate how women have this image of sitting and waiting for the right man to come into their lives and change everything. Early Disney fairytales had it so wrong. There is absolutely noting wrong with wanting a partner, Hell I want one too. But the problem is when this thought and artificial need consumes you. The idea that the "perfect" man is out there and you have to sit and wait for him to get his s**t together is absurd. I should preface by saying this rant is also triggered by the most beautiful message I received last night at Christmas Eve service.
God is brilliant in the way He works and speaks to you. The title of the message was " Its a new beginning", since Jesus being the light of the world was a new start. My pastor was speaking truth and life over everyone and all of a sudden he says that he felt like he was supposed to tell someone something. That he was supposed to tell a young woman that "love from a man is not going to feel the void". MIND BLOWN. I have been struggling with the single thing myself lately. I am finally ok with the idea of wanting a partner but lately I have been consumed with the idea, which is very much out of my character. So hearing my Pastor say that was just a testament to *Jah's brilliant timing.*I tend to use Jah and God interchangeably. Jah being short for Jehovah. I then felt this thought/ image/presence say, " I will send him when I send him but first lets work on you". Got it! I heard that one loud and clear. I have been praying for healing (mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically) and feeling like I am not being my authentic self or that I don't even know who my authentic self is anymore. Now my friend could have a very good grasp of who she is, so I was totally projecting in my sassy response. It just made me realize that instead of being consumed with this idea of finding a partner, I need to be consumed in finding myself. Not only in an attempt to be a better future partner but to be a better me and a brighter light.
So if you're constantly working on you and happy with yourself, you don't have time to sit and wait for a partner, they will find you when you're being your best self. And if they don't find you? Its not time, and that's a whole other post about patience and faith.
