I'm lucky.
Despite my socially awkward tendencies, I have a pretty awesome friend group. I have some childhood friends, college friends and the ever elusive adulthood friends. But every so often I come across a few people who appear to be friends... but are merely acquaintances.
Friendships are strange. Its almost a mutual codependency that's socially acceptable. I've noticed that each of my friends serve a purpose in my life. I have the friends who are always up for anything. The friends who are great to discus art and culture with, those friends who know you inside out and don't mind your crude unfiltered humor and then there are the friends who live far away but still get you despite the miles.
But the older I get, the more I don't quite get friendships. Sure, blame it on my anxiety but its almost as if we forget how to be friends as adults. In high school, friendships consisted of long conversations about nothingness and the future. Adult friendships consist of social media and e-vites. As adults, we forget that friendships are more than liked post and pictures. People think they know you by your Facebook post and feel as though that's enough. As if by liking your pictures that's validating you and your friendship. My parents always warned me that friendships would change the older I got. Maybe I'm throwing shade because friendships are extremely important to me. Maybe I'm hypersensitive to friendships and relationships because my anxiety makes it hard for me (not an excuse just something I am currently accepting and aware of). Or maybe I'm just over this watered down version of friendships.
I've also noticed the older I get, that there is a new category of friend. Friend by obligation. Just because you've known someone forever doesn't mean that you actually have to continue to be friends. People grow and they change but expect for friendships to stay the same and it just doesn't quite work that way... and that's ok. We get older and some friends become acquaintances or the friendship ends all together.
The problem occurs when you feel obligated to be around certain people to spare their feelings or keep peace. That's when resentment sets in. When energy is wasted on pointless conversations, not the high school kind that made you think about life, it might be time to reevaluate things. Not every moment of a friendship has to be world changing and thought provoking, but at the end of the day does that person make you better? Is that person a source of positive energy and encourages you to be your best self? We have such high expectations for partners but half ass our friendship goals. Some friends need more than others, I get it. But if you are the only one giving in a friendship, then what is it really? You shouldn't have to feel emotionally drained and exhausted every time you are around that person. But then again, we are so use to going through life with an assortment of associates that its almost as if we don't know any better.
In culture of " one upping" its hard to find people who are genuine in any aspect but especially in a friendship. But once you find those few amazing friends, hold on to them... because good people and good friends are hard to come by.
Despite my socially awkward tendencies, I have a pretty awesome friend group. I have some childhood friends, college friends and the ever elusive adulthood friends. But every so often I come across a few people who appear to be friends... but are merely acquaintances.
Friendships are strange. Its almost a mutual codependency that's socially acceptable. I've noticed that each of my friends serve a purpose in my life. I have the friends who are always up for anything. The friends who are great to discus art and culture with, those friends who know you inside out and don't mind your crude unfiltered humor and then there are the friends who live far away but still get you despite the miles.
But the older I get, the more I don't quite get friendships. Sure, blame it on my anxiety but its almost as if we forget how to be friends as adults. In high school, friendships consisted of long conversations about nothingness and the future. Adult friendships consist of social media and e-vites. As adults, we forget that friendships are more than liked post and pictures. People think they know you by your Facebook post and feel as though that's enough. As if by liking your pictures that's validating you and your friendship. My parents always warned me that friendships would change the older I got. Maybe I'm throwing shade because friendships are extremely important to me. Maybe I'm hypersensitive to friendships and relationships because my anxiety makes it hard for me (not an excuse just something I am currently accepting and aware of). Or maybe I'm just over this watered down version of friendships.
I've also noticed the older I get, that there is a new category of friend. Friend by obligation. Just because you've known someone forever doesn't mean that you actually have to continue to be friends. People grow and they change but expect for friendships to stay the same and it just doesn't quite work that way... and that's ok. We get older and some friends become acquaintances or the friendship ends all together.
The problem occurs when you feel obligated to be around certain people to spare their feelings or keep peace. That's when resentment sets in. When energy is wasted on pointless conversations, not the high school kind that made you think about life, it might be time to reevaluate things. Not every moment of a friendship has to be world changing and thought provoking, but at the end of the day does that person make you better? Is that person a source of positive energy and encourages you to be your best self? We have such high expectations for partners but half ass our friendship goals. Some friends need more than others, I get it. But if you are the only one giving in a friendship, then what is it really? You shouldn't have to feel emotionally drained and exhausted every time you are around that person. But then again, we are so use to going through life with an assortment of associates that its almost as if we don't know any better.
In culture of " one upping" its hard to find people who are genuine in any aspect but especially in a friendship. But once you find those few amazing friends, hold on to them... because good people and good friends are hard to come by.
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