Along with the unfortunate event of death, there are two other life events that make you stop and re-evaluate everything. Your friends getting engaged and your friends having babies.
I turned 27 and everyone started getting engaged and married. I turned 28 and everyone is having babies. I'm not throwing any sort of passive aggressive shade, but when you are literally the only very single and/or very non pregnant person in the room you start feeling some kind of way.
Does getting married and having babies equal a fulfilled life, for some yes and that's fine. Just not for me. But I do think about what living a fulfilled life even means anymore. Is it merely accomplishing everything on my to do list or is it more than that?
I don't feel like I'm living, just merely existing. The last time I really felt like I was living was in Zambia. I do have such a nostalgia for my time there just because I was happy and doing exactly what I was meant to do. Then I moved back and instead of my life being centered around the next book I would read its centered around the next bill I will pay. I get it. There are responsibilities that come with being an adult, for most of us anyway, but I hate the idea that my life is consumed with meaningless bureaucracy. I feel that our society is set up in a way that only a certain percentage of people are allowed to live while the rest of us just merely exist.
I was created for so much more than that... but what? It's funny how it was so clear what I was supposed to be doing once I went to Zambia. As if my existence led up to that moment, but what now? Asking myself what I want to do with my life at 28, seems a little late. I just get this overwhelming feeling that I'm supposed to being doing something more, something different, something bigger then what I am now but I have no clue of what that is.
I remember growing up and having these big dreams- I still have big dreams but now they are stifled by realty. So unfortunate how we grow up and sell out to reality.
As cliche' and preachy as it sounds- life is too short to just merely exist. I don't think we were put here to just go through the motions and be satisfied with the bare minimum of life.
But how does one really live their life to the fullest? Does it mean more things or more relationships? Does a full life equal degrees or experiences? Is it checking things off a bucket list? I'm obviously still trying to figure it out. Or maybe living a full life is a combination of everything and figuring it out as you go. Who knows? I know life is short but equally beautiful and I dont want the stresses of my 1st world problems to overshadow that.
I turned 27 and everyone started getting engaged and married. I turned 28 and everyone is having babies. I'm not throwing any sort of passive aggressive shade, but when you are literally the only very single and/or very non pregnant person in the room you start feeling some kind of way.
Does getting married and having babies equal a fulfilled life, for some yes and that's fine. Just not for me. But I do think about what living a fulfilled life even means anymore. Is it merely accomplishing everything on my to do list or is it more than that?
I don't feel like I'm living, just merely existing. The last time I really felt like I was living was in Zambia. I do have such a nostalgia for my time there just because I was happy and doing exactly what I was meant to do. Then I moved back and instead of my life being centered around the next book I would read its centered around the next bill I will pay. I get it. There are responsibilities that come with being an adult, for most of us anyway, but I hate the idea that my life is consumed with meaningless bureaucracy. I feel that our society is set up in a way that only a certain percentage of people are allowed to live while the rest of us just merely exist.
I was created for so much more than that... but what? It's funny how it was so clear what I was supposed to be doing once I went to Zambia. As if my existence led up to that moment, but what now? Asking myself what I want to do with my life at 28, seems a little late. I just get this overwhelming feeling that I'm supposed to being doing something more, something different, something bigger then what I am now but I have no clue of what that is.
I remember growing up and having these big dreams- I still have big dreams but now they are stifled by realty. So unfortunate how we grow up and sell out to reality.
As cliche' and preachy as it sounds- life is too short to just merely exist. I don't think we were put here to just go through the motions and be satisfied with the bare minimum of life.
But how does one really live their life to the fullest? Does it mean more things or more relationships? Does a full life equal degrees or experiences? Is it checking things off a bucket list? I'm obviously still trying to figure it out. Or maybe living a full life is a combination of everything and figuring it out as you go. Who knows? I know life is short but equally beautiful and I dont want the stresses of my 1st world problems to overshadow that.
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