You would think that since I deleted Facebook, I would be a bit better about updating my blog. One of my personal goals this year- stay attached and connected.... when I want to. Lots has happen since I wrote last yr, indicated by the ice cream truck outside my HOUSE! Yup, I bought a house. No more basements for me. 28 has been and interesting year already. I've only been 28 for 2 mos and I've changed my view on relationships, completed my 1 yr anniversary with my job and I bought a house. For someone who is - dare I say has a phobia of commitment, 2 out of the 3 of those are pretty major to me. Notice how I'm avoiding that relationship one, Yup, still avoiding.
It's really strange to see where I am compared to 3 yrs ago, travelling through Africa ending a 2 yr Peace Corps stint. The girl who traveled on a whim and always had a bag packed is finally grounded. For the past year I've wanted a sense of stability, but I've always felt like it wasn't meant for me or a part of who I am. Since turning 18, I haven't stayed anywhere longer than 2 yrs. Even in College, I was in DC more than I was in Maryville or Chattanooga. The plan was always to finish School and move to DC. Peace Corps happened but the plan was still to move to DC once I was done. Of course plans change and life takes unexpected detours but I have a strange sense of peace about staying in my home town. My parents are here and after 2 yrs of only seeing them in pictures and countless Sunday night missed calls, I feel like I need to be here. I could look at it different ways and say that I'm finally not running anymore. I always traveled- even in the states- to get away from something. Maybe to get away of the perception that people had of me. As much as I have a free spirit and a head constantly in the clouds, people have this idea that I have it all together. Hardly. I traveled because other countries live the simple life. No student loans, no mortgage payments, no time crunches or deadlines but for this season of my life, this is where I need to be. My pastor- that's strange to, but that's a topic for another day- talked about being content in your season while knowing it will change. He also talked about how God places you right where you need to be for a reason. Nothing is by accident and everything is a part of a bigger plan. I know that I am here for a reason, its just finding that reason. I do feel like I am in a different season. A season to focus on me and my goals. A season to no longer have a contradictory perception of myself but to become who I know I am. My new year's word for 2015 is AWAKENING. I feel like there is a lot of good things in the works for me this year, but this yr is really about coming into my own and realizing who I am and getting closer to who I'm meant to be.
It's really strange to see where I am compared to 3 yrs ago, travelling through Africa ending a 2 yr Peace Corps stint. The girl who traveled on a whim and always had a bag packed is finally grounded. For the past year I've wanted a sense of stability, but I've always felt like it wasn't meant for me or a part of who I am. Since turning 18, I haven't stayed anywhere longer than 2 yrs. Even in College, I was in DC more than I was in Maryville or Chattanooga. The plan was always to finish School and move to DC. Peace Corps happened but the plan was still to move to DC once I was done. Of course plans change and life takes unexpected detours but I have a strange sense of peace about staying in my home town. My parents are here and after 2 yrs of only seeing them in pictures and countless Sunday night missed calls, I feel like I need to be here. I could look at it different ways and say that I'm finally not running anymore. I always traveled- even in the states- to get away from something. Maybe to get away of the perception that people had of me. As much as I have a free spirit and a head constantly in the clouds, people have this idea that I have it all together. Hardly. I traveled because other countries live the simple life. No student loans, no mortgage payments, no time crunches or deadlines but for this season of my life, this is where I need to be. My pastor- that's strange to, but that's a topic for another day- talked about being content in your season while knowing it will change. He also talked about how God places you right where you need to be for a reason. Nothing is by accident and everything is a part of a bigger plan. I know that I am here for a reason, its just finding that reason. I do feel like I am in a different season. A season to focus on me and my goals. A season to no longer have a contradictory perception of myself but to become who I know I am. My new year's word for 2015 is AWAKENING. I feel like there is a lot of good things in the works for me this year, but this yr is really about coming into my own and realizing who I am and getting closer to who I'm meant to be.
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